Le Gamin has trademarked its signature omelette with three items, but apparently hasn't yet considered trademarking its particular brand of sullen and indifferent service. We think that's a pity. Well-known as a brunch destination with pseudo-Gallic attitude, Le Gamin consistently manages to offer quite average food along with below-average service. Want a rubbery crepe or a tepid sandwich along with a potent coffee? Don't mind waiting 30 minutes or more? You've come to the right place.

Over the years we've repeatedly tried Gamin's multiple locations, and find this one consistently has the least consistent service. At one recent brunch, the French waitress immediately let us know how busy she was by neglecting to wipe the filthy table, bring cutlery, or water—despite repeated requests. (We noted she had a mere six tables to serve.) We also noted one-fourth of the items we ordered never arrived, and we eventually went out to purchase mineral water at a nearby deli, thinking it an easy way to obtain the eau de vie. (We might also consider self-catering next time, ordering coffee but bringing in sandwiches from elsewhere.) Gamin's management imports recruits from the French countryside, who enjoy a training program non plus ultra at these establishments. How else to explain why these filthy cafes staffed by sullen moppets continue to please New Yorkers? They train us for visits to France.